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Last week I found myself in the middle of a massive move. Oh sure, there was food to prepare for our weekend of friends, a guest room to prepare and the usual holiday bustle, but before I could attend to any of that I had yarn to move. See the littlest shop girl moved from her crib to a big girl bed, but that also meant that she was moving to a new room, formerly known as my yarn room. As I hulled yarn out from my Narnia-esque wardrobe and plopped it into the now abandoned crib, I saw my stash anew. Some skeins I was really excited to see, others I found far less enticing. While I sorted into new bins, I purged the "ugly" yarn and then moved on to purging projects. In the past, I've gathered yarn, pattern, and needles into a bag ready for me to pick up and start.
During this process, I came across a skein of cranberry colored acrylic attached to a pair of size 11 green metal straight needles. The pattern was a variation of a basket weave motif and it had belonged to my Nana. It was the last thing she ever knitted. While sick with colon/liver cancer, she would pick up the needles every so often and complete a row. Tucked inside the ball band was her pattern written on a yellowed piece of paper in her signature loopy penmanship. It's been four years since we said good-bye, I haven't been able to remove those live stitches… until last week. I'm not sure what finally allowed me to let go. While the yarn and needles have been repurposed, the pattern is tucked in my desk for heart-keeping.
I know that this time of year can be very difficult. Many of us are longing for family members who we cannot be with for various reasons. As I was thinking about this post, I was thinking about what my Nana might say if she read my reflections. Honestly, I'm not sure what she would say. I do know this, she wouldn't want me to focus on her leaving something unfinished. So I started to think about how I could remember her in a new way, a way that wasn't cold knitting needles and straggly bits of yarn.
Back in August, I started The Cranberry Capelet. The yarn I chose was from my stash and was the first Dream in Color I had ever purchased. It's called Ruby River and is very similar to the cranberry colored yarn Nana was using. I think making and eventually wearing that caplet will be my quiet little tribute to her. I hope that each of you who are struggling this season are able to find your own way of keeping the people and memories most important to you alive--even if that means letting go so a new creation can be born.
~Kristin |