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Like any good play, this one has two main characters: the maker of the gift and the receiver of the gift. There is also the quintessential "problem". Something has been created and now a decision must be made, is the item gifted or kept?
Ah. A tale as old as time for any knitter or crocheter.
These thoughts are familiar ones this time of year as the holiday season draws nearer. A few of us were recently contemplating the act of knitting for others. One knitter remarked that she never tells anyone she is knitting for them. That way if she falls in love with the object, no one is disappointed. Wise woman. Then there are those of us that have knitter's guilt. You know to what I'm referring. An individual requests a knitted item, but they are not knit-worthy, yet you still knit for them because you can't say no. I've done it--more than once. I think we all have. Perhaps it's the way we learn who is worthy of receiving our hand-made creations and who isn't. Whatever the process or reasoning, knitting or crocheting for others is a labor of love.
For many of us to give away a hand-knit does becomes a dilemma in need of solving. I have yet to meet a knitter or crocheter who doesn't put a piece of themselves into their work. When the piece is finished, it's hard to hand it over to someone who may or may not appreciate, care for, or cherish it the way we would or think it ought to be treated. It can be so hard to release my work into the hands of another. Still, I do. For example, right now I am in the process of knitting two gifts. Gift number one is a Faraway, So Close shawl for a very special mama and gift number two is a baby sweater for a soon-to-be mom who has long awaited this little one. I know that when I finish my job of making, these gifts will be appreciated and maybe even adored, but no one can understand the care I put into them. Why? Because no one else is me. It seems silly to write, but it's true. I've learned that when I knit meaning into a gift the meaning might spill over and touch the receiver, but ultimately it is part of my ongoing healing process. Even when not knitting for those who have suffered the loss of a child, I know that while my intention is to make the other happy their response to my gift isn't what counts. For me what ultimately keeps me from holding on to every single knitted item I produce, is the joy and expectation of knitting the next project. The only type of gift I have yet to reconcile is the guilt knitting scenario. I have yet to find joy in it--maybe because none is to be found!?!?
So friends, how have you learned to let go? Or haven't you? Do you knit for others or just for yourself? Do you knit the same pattern for everyone? How about when you receive a hand-knit by another knitter? What does that mean to you?
Happy Fall Friends!
~Kristin |